Open letter to the person who doesn’t even deserve a letter for their name:
Here’s a big FUCK YOU! Now please keep in mind I have a whole lot of respect for the fact that you love your daughter, and frankly seeing the type of father you have become gave me hope in you. I thought you had finally grown up and maybe could see the world in a positive light. I truly thought you were some one I wanted in my life.
Until last night….. How dare you? How dare you go on a rant about a discussion you had with OTHER people about how killing abortion provides were ok? How dare you tell me nurses, staff, and patients were just collateral damage? How dare you tell me that what these doctors were doing was “morally repugnant?” How dare you say that because of these people jobs that they deserve to die and more over how dare you say these things to ME???
I always knew you had weird theories and ideals, but I never thought they were as vile and disgusting as this. I never imagined that when I asked you if your future pregnant wife was in a car accident, she was unconscious and you had to make a choice of the fetus life or her life you said……”Sacrifices need to be made.” Just like that with no emotion, no thought process. And then you continue on and say “Giving your life up for another is the most noble of things a person can do in their lives.” Had my head not been reeling, I might have added then why can’t the fetus do this and be “noble?”
Seriously?? With no thought to your partners wishes? You are that worried about the continuations of your demon spawn that would “sacrifice” your partner. The person who is supposed to be the love of your life? What if it’s 25 years from now and some man is deciding that fate for your daughter? What if you daughter is “sacrificed “for the greater good?
All you did last night was make is incredibly clear that you see women has a walking incubator. That you have no respect for their body, their wishes, and their ability to provide anything to this society except more male babies. I think what hurt the most is that you see me like this! The fact that you are pro-life never bothered me and you always told me my past didn’t bother you. Hell, you were there for me through most of it and yet and YET!!!!!! You don’t even show me the common courtesy to think before you spoke. You don’t have the respect for me to even consider that you might hurt my feelings by calling me morally repugnant? By calling me a murderer? By calling me possible collateral damage? Well you did hurt me and not by saying any of these thing. You hurt them because you said them and didn’t care if you hurt me. You didn’t even register that this was my reality, my life. So FUCK YOU!
Wow, I hadn't surfed by recently, but I hope your intended audience sees this reply!
[& the only emotion I feel when contemplating my Due 4.0 date -- which is approaching in Feb -- is RELIEF!]
Good rant...
Posted by: Val | December 06, 2006 at 09:04 AM
Val,
Thanks. He doesn't know about this site, so I doubt he'll ever see it, but writing it made me feel better!
Posted by: Zygote | December 06, 2006 at 09:41 AM
Vent, Sister, Vent.
I'm sorry your feelings were hurt and he didn't give any thought to the effect of his words before he spoke.
He's obviously a jackass, but an common and unfortunate downside in this particular argument is the fact that it's hard to present the pro-life side without people feeling personally condemned. Not that this a-hole is pro-life at all, especially with his irrationalities about killing abortionists and staff. Even though my viewpoint is consistent with the pro-life movement, I know that I have to be very careful when I talk about my advocacy of fetal equality and likewise, prochoice folks can offend women that have lost babies to miscarriage, etc. when they deny the personhood of that fetus. It's touchy. Even if this asshat were trying to present the true and correct pro-life argument, there such a thing as effing tact.
I'm sorry that he hurt you. That's not defensible.
Posted by: JacqueFromTexas | December 07, 2006 at 08:12 AM
Thanks Jacque
The stepping on toes between the sides is interesting. Personally I don’t take offense when the pro-life side makes claims for fetal equality because normally they are educated and have a backing for their reasoning. But he’s just an idiot. If, for example, you thought that I had murdered my child, I can respect that thinking. I don’t agree, but can respect where you’re coming from. Plus I am guessing you wouldn’t be as crass as he was. But he was just making outlandish claims just to make outlandish claims (which he does often) but this time he didn’t even think about what he was saying and to whom he was saying it and that’s what chapped my ass.
The other thing that irked me was that he back peddled and put the blame completely on the doctor basically saying the doctor was doing evil not the women. So what? I am just the dumb, helpless women who opened her legs! At least give me the credit to have thought out the decision and made it. I am not some twity, little girl who got “duped.” But then again that’s probably my own defiance coming out then anything to do with the issue at hand.
Posted by: Zygote | December 07, 2006 at 11:49 AM
Yeah, not possible to defend him. He's an idiot and an ass. He'd be hard-pressed to find someone to sympathize.
I was thinking that even when you're careful you can be hurtful and offensive- when you don't care and you're effing stupid, that's a recipe for distaster.
Certain people just shouldn't talk.
Posted by: JacqueFromTexas | December 10, 2006 at 07:28 AM
Agreed!!!!
Posted by: Zygote | December 11, 2006 at 10:55 AM
Hi Zygote- good to be in contact with you again. I hope you are doing well. Good riddance to that individual. My love and understanding goes out to you, for I can never cast a stone. When I was in college, an unplanned pregnancy was comparable to a STD genital wart that was a consequence of our behavior, was very embarrassing, brought shame and guilt, and the best way to "solve" the problem was to have it removed as quickly as possible so that life could get back to normal. As a 44 year old mother of three, I was once blind, but now I see, graced with compassion for all. Stay in touch my friend.
Posted by: Abortion Hurts | January 25, 2007 at 12:55 PM
AH,
Welcome! Thanks for stopping by.
I am a bit confused though, are you saying you had an abortion in college?
And just for the sake of full discloser I have HPV too. And I have to say the shame and disgrace was much worse with the HPV then with the abortion.
Posted by: Zygote | January 29, 2007 at 11:29 PM